


The Philosophy of Hogwarts' Professor's Lounge

by zorlia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, As more characters come into play, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Teacher AU, Where all the Avengers are Hogwarts Teachers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 18:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11766264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zorlia/pseuds/zorlia
Summary: With the start of each new school term a combination of feelings is attributed to the staffing of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. From Peter Quill's excitement and glee to Peggy Carter's weary mental preparation of large amounts of tomfoolery that was sure to come.Whatever the case to be, all the teachers were not prepared for what was to come the year that Harry Potter was sorted in Hogwarts. They battle against gambling rings, smuggled items, detentions, angry parents, and the pressing knowledge of what was hidden in the third-floor corridor.And lest not forget the House Cup.





	The Philosophy of Hogwarts' Professor's Lounge

The start of every new school year was a wonderful experience. It was, in Peter Quill's opinion, the best time of the year. First there was getting all the thestrals gathered and harnessed up to the carriages for the older students. That was always fun, and needing them to draw the carriages from the station to the school gave Peter a good reason for having a herd of thestrals. That alone could have made the start of school the best time ever, but it was only the start.

He got to lead the first years across the lake and see their wondrous expressions when seeing the beauty that was Hogwarts. Peter would always laugh when the kraken, whom he privately named Namor in his head, would say hello to the newcomers. The kids would shriek in terror when on of his giant tentacles raised from the water and fell back down to give a large splash.

Then there was the awesomeness that was the start of term feast in the great hall. He would sit with the rest of the professors despite only being the groundskeeper. He would try to snag a chair next to Clint Barton, the flying instructor and quidditch referee. Clint would actually listen when Peter complained about what animals Dumbledore wouldn't let him have or when he talked about his ventures into the forest.

Clint also always sat with Natasha Romanov who was a pretty red head that taught ancient runes. She was the most terrifying person he knew. And that was including the deputy headmistress Margaret 'Peggy' Carter.

While Peter tried and failed to impress Natasha the students would all go to their house tables and get with their friends with happy chatter. Once everyone was settled and all the 'hello's' and 'I missed you's' were said Professor Carter would bring in the first years.

The cute little eleven year olds shuffled in nervously and marvel at the grand architecture of the hall. The other students would point and whisper about their younger siblings who were in the new group and hope they end up in the same house. The professors would merely look on in an act of professionalism that is seldom seen behind closed doors.

Though, the professors needed to have a little fun too.

“Three sickles that the freckled boy with glasses is a raven.” Clint whispered to Peter, silently indicating the student in question as he picked up his goblet. Peter glanced at the kid who was standing at the fringe of the group, looking around the room with wide nervous eyes. He was a bit portly, but not so much as being overweight. As Peter gauged the kid and his pockets Natasha raised an unimpressed brow at her friend.

“Just because he wears glasses doesn't mean he's going to Ravenclaw.” She murmured, barely moving her lips. Peter would always be fascinated how she could do that and still be heard without any problem at all.

“Bruce wears glasses.” Clint pointed out, nodding his head to the other side of the table where the transfiguration professor Bruce Banner was sitting. He was having a quiet conversation with the head of Gryffindor while waiting for the sorting to begin. Tony Stark was also the charms professor and owner of the most wealthy business in Magical Britain; Stark Impossibilities. The company made anything magical from portkeys to the most well made brooms in existence.

He was talking swiftly to Banner, obviously excited about something. How such two polar opposite personalities got along so well was a mystery. Banner was a quiet man with a calm demeanor as he taught his classes. Stark on the other hand was a spitfire of energy that liked to show off at any opportunity.

Natasha scoffed, snapping Peter's eyes back to her. She rolled her eyes at Clint's reasoning and took a judgmental sip from her drink. Clint narrowed his eyes at his friend.

“What? It's true!” Not that Clint was wrong. Bruce did wear a pair of glasses, only they were usually only used for reading and grading assignments. Peter didn't point this out, knowing it wouldn't be appreciated by his friend. Natasha however felt no compulsion to hold back.

“Just because,” Natasha began, speaking slowly as if Clint was a small child. Which, in her defense he acted like a small child on most occasions. “Professor Banner wears glasses and is the head of Ravenclaw doesn't mean that everyone else who wears glasses goes to that house.” When Clint didn't look convinced she decided to throw in her own bet.

“One galleon that he goes to Hufflepuff.” Clint took her up on the bet. Peter knew better than to put his two sickles in. Natasha never lost a bet, especially when it came to the sorting. Instead he looked at the rest of the crowd and saw a familiar face.

“Hey, look there.” He elbowed Clint and pointed excitedly at the first years. “Next to that Weasley boy. That's Harry Potter.” Clint and Natasha stopped their stare down and looked to where Peter was pointing. He was towards the middle of the group, making the kid hard to see. Luckily the all the Weasley kids had the same shade of red hair. It made spotting Harry easier with him standing next to the other boy. Potter looked amazed as he looked around the grand hall.

“How do you know?” Natasha asked, squinting as she looked. Peter perked, excited to tell her all about his excursion into the muggle world to deliver Harry's letter. If that didn't impress her then Peter was sure that being the person to introduce the magical world to Harry at Diagon Alley would.

Before he could a chance to speak however, Clint opened his big mouth.

“Yeah, that him. I can see the scar. Barely, but still there.” He made a see-saw motion with his hand as he spoke, sharp eyes trained on Harry. Peter mentally deflated, cursing Clint in his head as Natasha took his confirmation to heart. Damn Barton and his ex-professional quidditch seeker eyes.

“We will now begin the sorting!” A hush fell over the room at professor Carter's booming voice. They must have finally got the hat all set up and ready. Peter didn't really understand how he worked, not a genius at charms like Stark. He did think that they could have done a better job when his came to waking the hat up though. It seemed like each year it took longer to wake the grump up.

As per tradition Carter waited for the hat to introduce himself before calling up the students. The seam on the hat stretched and opened, and an old crackly voice began to belt out a jaunty tune. It was the usual spiel, loosely sharing the traits of each house. After he was done singing Carter pulled out a large scroll and looked sternly down at the students.

“When I call your name make your way to the stool and put the hat on. The sorting hat will then decide what house you will belong in for the rest of your time in Hogwarts.” She instructed. When there were no objections, not that there would be any, she looked down at the list.

“Abbot, Hannah!” A young mouse of a girl trotted up to the sorting hat. Carter waited patiently while the girl settled onto the wooden chair. Once ready Carter plopped the hat onto Abbot's head, nearly covering half of her head. Peter remembered when he was sorted like it was yesterday. Back then he thought it was weird that the hat they used to sort the kids was too big for their heads. He still did. His confusion was quickly washed away from the sudden voice in his head. From the way the girl jumped in her seat she was just as surprised as Peter had been.

“HUFFLEPUFF!” That hat screeched. Peter winced and patted his ear in an effort to halt the ringing. While he liked to sit next to Clint and Natasha during the opening feast, he hated that they were right next to the hat. The thing had no volume control.

Abbot hustled off the stool and ran to the tabled decked in yellow and black. The table clapped politely and welcomed her with smiles and encouragement. Peter sneaked a peak to the other side of Natasha where the history professor sat. Steve Rogers was the head of Hufflepuff and like every year was grinning wide at the new additions to his house.

Carter went down the list, calmly whittling down the large group of first years. Clint lost his bet against Natasha. This did not surprise Peter one bit. Clint mumbled a curse under his breath as he handed over his money to the smug Natasha. Everything was par to course for the event after that. The students waited in quiet anticipation for each reveal and the professor's quietly continued their bad gambling habits.

“Stark bets five galleons she'll be in his house.” Clint whispered to Peter as a young girl with a bushy mane of brown hair approached the stool. Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise. He remembered seeing her when he was showing Harry around Diagon Alley. She was one the muggle-borns of the group. Peter had watched in fascination as she strolled down the alley with a large pile of books in her hands.

“I'm in. Ravenclaw.” Peter hissed out the side of his mouth. If he managed to win against Stark not only he'd get some money but he'd get to lord it over the professor's head. Stark was notorious for almost never being wrong.

“Are you sure? She isn't wearing glasses.” Peter scowled at Clint's dubious voice. Clint shrugged and relayed the bet to Natasha who told Rogers who was keeping a tally on all the bets.

The girl sat on the stool nervously and waited as the hat began his work. Peter leaned forward in anticipation as the hat grumbled.

“Ah, well. Hmmm.” Peter darted a look to Stark who was leaning forward in his seat as well. The older man glanced at Peter and winked. Peter cut back to the hat and prayed to Merlin that he was right. There was no way she wasn't meant for Ravenclaw.

“Best be, GRYFFINDOR!” The red and gold table exploded in applause as per usual. Peter slumped, nearly knocking over his drink. Clint patted his back in consolation. Peter dared a peek at Stark, who was grinning like the cat that got the cream. And the bird. And the fish.

Bastard.

Sighing Peter leaned back in his chair and waited for the rest of the kids to get sorted. He couldn't afford to bet anymore money. Next to him Peter could feel the judgmental gaze of the potions professor.

Severus Snape was the embodiment of almost every villain in a child's book. He wore all black, kept his dark hair slicked back, and had a crooked nose. If the loudness of the hat wasn't enough, sitting with Clint also landed Peter next to the Slytherin head.

“What?” He bit out, shooting a glare at Snape. The man flicked his eyes away and took an elegant sip from his goblet. It pissed Peter off a little.

“You were a fool to take on Stark.” The man scorned. He didn't even look at Peter when he spoke. Peter grumbled under his breath to keep from snarling at Snape. The guy got on his nerves. It was probably why Snape liked to make fun of him each year when he tried to bet against someone.

“I don't see you taking on any bets.” Peter shot, mindlessly clapping when a student was sorted into Ravenclaw. He glared at the hat as the kid trotted off to the table. Wrong student, Peter grunted in his head. Should have sent that Granger kid there.

“I will not involve myself in the petty games you and the other professors daftly invent.” Peter scrunched his nose at the wording the man used. Snape smirked from his spot, clapping when the next kid was sorted into his house.

“I'm sorry that we know how to have fun, unlike a certain dungeon bat we know.” Clint piped in, leaning back in his chair to quip a smile at Snape. The man rolled his eyes and quickly flicked a galleon at Clint's head.

Clint snatched the coin in mid air with no trouble, grinning ear to ear.

“The next goes Slytherin.” The bet was said primly, as if he was talking about a fancy party with other pure bloods. Peter grimaced as the kid in question strode to the stool confidently. Peter would have guessed him Gryffindor just for that alone. Yet, his aptitude for guessing houses was not all that great that year.

“SLYTHERIN!” That hat barely touched his head before screaming the name out. The kid jumped off the stool and continued his confident stride to Snape's house. Peter felt his scowl worsen as he felt Snape's gaze on him. He was probably making fun of Peter in his head. The git.

“That's four galleons to Snape.” Clint passed the money to Peter who somberly passed them to Snape. The professor slipped the money into his pocket and went back to quietly watching the sorting without interest.

A few more students passed without notice. One boy ran off to Gryffindor with the hat still on his head, much to his embarrassment and amusement to others. Peter mentally sent a pat on the back to him, feeling his pain. Today wasn't his best either.

“Potter, Harry!” Snape tensed beside Peter. He curiously looked to the professor, but nothing seemed amiss. He still looked like he was one hex away from killing them all for their unworthiness. Okay, Peter could admit that was an exaggeration. But the fact remained that Snape didn't look all that different, save for how his gaze closely followed Harry as he made his way to the stool.

That wasn't all that surprising. Everyone was watching Harry closely as he walked. Most were whispering to themselves, amazed that the fabled hero that killed the Dark Lord was attending their school.

At the professor's table bets were being thrown around like crazy. Clint was having trouble keeping up as he retold all the stakes being made. Every house head save for Snape and Steve called Harry for their house. Snape because he already made his annual single bet and Steve because he was bookie that year. Not that no one didn't bet on Hufflepuff for him. Sam, who was one of the healers for the school, usually made all of Steve's bets for him when he was bookie. Steve would do the same for Sam when it was his turn.

“Stark put ten galleon on Gryffindor, which is unfair of Tony if you ask me.” Clint rolled his eyes at Peter's flabbergasted expression of the amount of coins Stark had placed down. Clint was right, that was unfair. Galleonaire's should not be allowed to place large bets others could not afford.

“Bruce put down three sickles and a set of pure silver scales for Ravenclaw.” Which was surprising. Normally Banner would not partake in the sorting bets. Snape like to pretend that he was above 'such petty games' but in reality he'd always bet at least once for a kid. Banner on the other hand rarely joined in on the fun.

Peter quickly told Clint to place six galleons and an unset portkey to Gryffindor for him. Clint was hesitant to do so, what with Peter losing earlier. He insisted however. Peter grew fond of the little guy when helping him get his school supplies. He might as well place a bet on him as well.

However if he lost Peter his money and portkey then he was going to squash that fondness with a vengeance.

“Sam placed four galleons and five detention sittings with him or Steve.” In which all sittings would be done with Steve and not Sam, cause it was really a bet for Rogers.

“Wanda is putting five galleons and a signed anything from her brother on Gryffindor.” Wanda Maximoff was the co-prophecy professor with Trelawney. She, unlike the other woman, actually came down for all the meals and big feasts. Her twin brother was Pietro Maximoff; a famous chaser in the professional quidditch circuit. Clint had a sort of rivalry with the albino man after playing many games against each other in the field.

“Nat just put, _Merlin's balls_ , fifteen galleons on Slytherin.” Peter, Clint, Steve, and surprisingly Snape all looked at Natasha with abject horror. She didn't look affected by the stares of the four men. She just watched as Harry sat on the stool and the hat get lowered onto his head.

All of the hushed whispers stopped, even those at the Professor's table. The general rule when betting houses was that when the hat touched the kid's head, bets were off. They didn't always stick to the rule, but this was one of those time when it was silently enforce.

The great hall waited in total silence as the hat sat on Harry's head. It took longer than most, almost becoming a hatstall like with Stark and Banner all those years ago.

“Well it better be,” All the hairs on the back of Peter's neck raised as the Hat prepared to announce the house. He once again prayed that he wasn't wrong and that the hat wouldn't fail again.

“GRYFFINDOR!” The Gryffindors roared with applause, Tony alongside them. He actually hopped from his chair with a whoop of glee. He quickly sat down when Carter sent a glare his way, but his grin was telling.

Peter wasn't all that much better, having done a shimmy in his chair at the win. He didn't know how many people ended up betting Gryffindor but the spoils would be split up later that evening when the professors met after the feast. Whatever portion he got Peter would be happy with, content that he managed to guess right. Against Natasha no less!

“What happened Nat?” Clint whispered with mock awe. “I thought you never lose.” Natasha didn't look upset at the major loss. She shrugged and sent a secretive smile to Clint.

“I just wanted to play the outlier. No one else was going for Slytherin.” That seemed like something she would do. It was a waste of money to Peter though. To him it was obvious that Harry didn't belong in Slytherin. So Natasha must have known better. She was the best at figuring out houses after all.

The rest of the sorting went on without fanfare, the climax having been done. Peter felt bad for the kids after Potter. Having to go up after an act like that would be disheartening. After all the kids were sorted Carter grabbed the stool and hat and set them to the side. She then made her way to her seat next to Dumbledore.

The headmaster stood up after she sat down and smiled at the gathered students. Peter sat up straight, excited for the next bit of the opening ceremony. His most favorite part in the start of term. 

“Firstly, I must remind you that the forbidden forest is forbidden of entry to all students.” This was said with twinkle at two recognizable twins in Gryffindor. Peter frowned at the memory of having to chase the two away from the forest when they were first years. And second years. And third years. Hopefully this year he wouldn't have to do it again.

“Secondly, I must tell that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death.” Peter's leg bounced up and down as he waited impatiently for Dumbledore to get one with it.

“And finally...Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” Dumbledore then sat down and all of the food appeared on the tables. Peter straightened up with a smile. This was his absolute favorite part of the start of term. The feast.

The opening feast was the best one in the whole year and it had all of Peter's favorite foods. He quickly tucked in and began to load his plate with all the goodies the house elves had made that year. The great hall once again was filled with chatter as students and professors alike began to talk and gossips with their friends.

Peter listened to Clint and Natasha banter like an old married couple with one ear as he munched. He felt perfectly content as he was and was happy that once again another great year at Hogwarts had started.

Peter had a good feeling about this year.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. If you find any mistakes please let me know, as that this is un-beta'd for now. I try to get everything before posting but sometimes I miss something. Please leave a kudos and comment and have a wonderful day. (^_^)


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